Eric: Hmm…well, this is in no way going to be our most exciting battle.

Z: Sadly enough, it isn't going to be the least exciting either.

Eric: It's too bad it takes Sailor Moon a week to execute an attack, otherwise she'd cream Pikachu. It's more of a fight this way I guess. Where's Thunderbolt? I've gotten used to the three-commentator set-up.

Z: No Thunderbolt today…he went to help Kahless. We do have someone else though.

Mike: Huh? What's going on?

Eric: Oh, hi Mike. You too eh?

Mike: Me too what?

Eric: Abducted and forced to commentate for Galactic Anarchy.

Mike: WHAT?!?!? WE'RE AT YOUR SITE?!?! And…that whole Q-abduction thing is WAAAAAAAAY overdone Eric, you've got to think of something else.

Z: Hey…

Mike: Hi Z. You're taller than I am…why is that?

Z: Kahless is taller than Eric, and I'm a super creature, why shouldn't I be taller than you?

Eric: OK!! Enough…let's do the voter comments…

Katrover Swatroad: Why am I suddenly reminded of the deaths of Luna, Atermis and Diana in the Sailormoon manga? Oh so sad....wahhhh!! Gee thanks for reviving old pains!!

Mike: Just who did this girl vote for?

Eric: I have NO clue…

Big" Steve: I WANT KAHLESS!!!!! If he don't show up, I'LL PUT THE SMACK DAB ON BOTH THEIR ASSES!!!! DIE SAILOR MOON AND PIKACHU!!!!!!

D. Merzel: Moon wears rubber gloves. In addition to being a bad fashion statement they are also insulated against electricity. That little rat is whomped (and not by some jedi in a canyon)
As for Mr K's intervention before any declaration of hostilities against anime the sheer number & power of anime starfleets must be recognised. The zentradi could take the klingons any day of the week.
Of course a battle involving anime fleets might be blowing this out of perspective.
Moon wins assuming Kahless doen't get involved.

Eric: Huh? What, did you actually take what Z said about Kahless seriously?!?!

Z, Mike, and Eric: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Jim0: Pikachu will Kick Sailor Moons sorry ass!

HexxJo: Hmm.... Sailor Moon, the 2nd most powerful being in her universe. The girl that defeated the most powerful being in her universe. The girl with that all too cool hairstyle. The ditziest girl in the universe. What is there about her not to like? *bows to his Sailor Moon shrine* But we all know Sailor Neptune is the cutest scout. *bows to his Sailor Nepture shrine* All Hail the Sailor Scouts!

Eric: Hmm…*starts to e-mail HexxJo's address to Big Steve*

Mike: HEY!!! Don't do that! HexxJo's been a nice guy to you, there's no reason to have Steve kill him!

Eric: My experiences with him have proved him to be effectively immortal, Steve can't kill him…just mangle and maim him.

Z: That's not very nice either. You've SEEN what Steve can do!!!

Universal Overlord: My creative plot idea:
Sailormoon goes gaga over the cute little electrical rodent and vice versa. Then Sailorsaturn comes in and blows the crap out of both. But if that doesn't work, just have Sailormoon hit the sucker with that nifty Silver Crystal. Pikachu parts splattered on the cameras.

Z: Given this kid…I believe you've figured out the plot already.

Eric: You're probably right, but since I'm here, I can't be writing the battles…

Z: Who is then?

Mike: It'll probably be a plot twist later on. No need to wonder about it now.

Eric: I really have no clue. I was hoping you could tell me Z…

SAMAS: You're kidding, right? This is a mismatch if I ever saw one. I can alreasy see how this is going to go:
Pikachu starts with his patented Thundershock, putting Usagi on the run. Just as he has her cornered, a rose comes out of nowhere, disrupting Pikachu's attack! It's Tuxedo Mask(Kamen)! Tux tries to encourage Moon to battle on, but is beaned upside the head by a PokeBall thrown by Pikachu's Trainer, Ash!
But Tux has served his purpose. Usagi readies her attack, (let's go with the Tiara this time)but Pikachu dodges with his Agility! eventually, Kah-Less shows up to try to destroy them both, and maybe even manages to injure Pikachu, but Sailor Moon, who was beginning to like the little guy, transforms to Queen Serenity, and well... Let's just say she once took out Super Saiya-jin Goku in a Royal Rumble.

Z: So what? I could take Goku and Vegeta by myself with one hand tied behind my back!

Eric: If you talk the talk…

Z: *his eyes glow red and he gets 4 meters tall* You saying something?

Eric: *hiding under desk* No sir.

Mike: It's a good thing Kahless isn't here to hear that remark on his name. Didn't he take out a room full of crazed Wookies once?

Eric: There they are, entering the arena.

Z: An adorable little rodent and a whiny girl…who thought up this match?

Mike: *glaring* An idiot, that's who.

Eric: *sniff* Sheesh, you people could be a little nicer to a guy who's been forced to put on of his favorite cartoon characters in a certain death situation!

Mike: What about Sailor Moon? I thought you liked her too…

Eric: To whiny for my taste, Sailor Mars is my favorite. HEY! You watch Sailor Moon too!

Mike: *looks embarrassed* SLANDER!! LIES!! From my best friend too!!!

Z: I think the match is about to start, Ash is giving Pikachu a pep talk.

Ash: Ok Pikachu, you can do it! Pokemon is newer, bigger, better, more popular, and far better dubbed than Sailor Moon is, ever was, or ever will be!!

Pikachu: Pika Pi! Chu, pika!

Ash: Give her hell Pikachu!

Eric: My, my, such language for a ten year old.

Mike: Someone should tell his mother.

Z: Ok! *rings up the Ketchem residence*

Ash's Mom: Yes?

Z: I think you'll be interested in something your son said, there's a two minute delay from here to Earth via subspace radio so turn your TV to 73.

Ms. Ketchem: Um…ok. *turns on the TV*

On the TV:

Pikachu: Pika Pi! Chu, pika!

Ash: Give her hell Pikachu!

Ash's mom appears out of nowhere and drags Ash out by his ear.

Eric: Whoa, she got here fast!

Mike: I'll say! Subspace transmissions take 2 minutes to get to earth from here, and they're faster than light!

Z: Cartoon physics, what can I say?

Eric: Nothing I guess, looks like the Sailor Scouts are done encouraging their leader.

Serena/Usagi: MOON CRYSTAL POWER!!

And so Sailor Moon begins her overly long only-outline-visible-and-glowing-but-still-obviously-nude transformation sequence.

Z: *puts a hand over Eric's and Mike's eyes* You kids probably shouldn't watch this. Heck, I shouldn't watch this! *a third hand comes from nowhere and covers Z's eyes*

After a transformation sequence long enough to grow hair during, a "ting!" noise sounds as Sailor Moon poses.

Z: Pikachu is kind of staring at Sailor Moon… I'm not sure what…

Eric: That's the same look he gave Misty's sisters…

Mike: Yeah, but he's looking up…

Z: Perverted little mouse!

Eric and Mike look slightly disturbed, and then gag.

Mike: Hey! She just kicked Pikachu across the arena!

Eric: That's a rather harsh reaction.

Z: Pikachu doesn't look happy, he's charging up electricity.

Sailor Moon: *poses* I AM SAILOR MOON! *poses dramatically* Champion of Justice! *yet another pose* I stand for love and all that is good! I will triumph over evil and…but you're not evil…you're CUTE!!

Eric: WHOA!! Sailor Moon just found out the hard way why you never bear hug a sleeping Pikachu!

Mike: Looks like Pikachu was just as bored by her speech as I was. She's thoroughly crispified now though! Looks like Pikachu doesn't wake up in any better a mood than you do.

Eric: Har-har, very funny.

Z: Sailor Moon is now a pile of violently convulsing limbs…this has got to be the shortest fight I've ever seen.

Eric: Pikachu looks kind of worried, he hops over to Sailor Moon, who has stopped twitching randomly…and appears to be looking for a pulse.

Z: WHA?! Sailor Moon was just faking death! She jumped up and lunged for Pikachu's throat!

Eric: Pikachu used agility though and darted away!

Pikachu: Pi-pika-pi!

Sailor Moon: I'll show you, you little rat! MOON…

Mike: Great, a Sailor Moon attack…so, Eric how long have you been here anyway?

Eric: A couple of weeks actually, why'd you ask?

Mike: Really? You've been at school…either that, or some alternate version of you, or a clone, or a…

Sailor Moon: …SCEPTER…

Eric: Strange… I suppose we'll have to figure it out once we get back.

Mike: I guess you're right… So, what's life like around here?

Eric: Except for the threat of death it's a lot more fun than Pahrump, some really great sights to see, holodecks, replicators, transporters…

Mike: Phasers, photon torpedoes?

Eric: I was just getting there.

Sailor Moon: …ACTIVATION!!

Z, Eric and

Mike: *fall over* ACTIVATION!?!?! What the hell?! Pikachu's not a Nega-verse possessed monster!!!

Z: I had heard that she's an idiot…

Eric: Well, her anti-possession attack doesn't seem to be doing any offensive damage, but…

Mike: Pikachu is looking….strange…like it's high or something…

Z: OH NO!! Now it's dancing a little happy dance and grinning like an idiot!

Eric: What exactly did that attack do? Turn Pikachu 100% goody-goody? Sailor Moon looks to be readying another attack while Pikachu is still a mental vegetable…

Kahless: Well, reducing Pikachu's intelligence certainly helps to level the playing field.

Sailor Moon: Ok rodent, I'm going to finish you off!

Z: Hi Kahless…come to bail me out of this hellhole?

Kahless: No. For one thing, you're a pain in the ass, for another, you got my title wrong. It is NOT "Sworn enemy of Anime"! It is "Sworn enemy of all that is cute and disgustingly nice"!!

Z: I forgot…Big Steve's the enemy of Anime. Sorry.

Sailor Moon: MOON…TIARA…MAGIC!!

Pikachu: Pikachu?

Kahless: You're in luck though Z, she is disgustingly nice, and it is cute. Once I get my sword out of my ship I'll be back to take care of things here.

Eric: Sailor Moon's tiara is flying at Pikachu…it looks like the end for the electrifying super star!

Mike: Pikachu must have regained his senses! He jumped up…and landed on her flying tiara!

Eric: I don't know how, but Pikachu is surfing! A weave left, right, 180-degree spin! He's heading for Sailor Moon!

Z: Sailor Moon pulls off one of those last second dodges, but her tiara does cut a bit of her boot off.

Eric: How does a Tiara cut anything?

Mike: and Z: Don't think about it.

Z: Pikachu's running over! …and appears to be checking if she's ok…

Eric: Sailor Moon is patting Pikachu's head… Pikachu gave her a Band-Aid for her leg…

Mike: What he needs to do is give her something for massive electrical burns!

Z: Oh my goodness….THEY'RE MAKING UP!?!?! What the hell kind of battle is this???

Mike: The kind you'd expect from these do-gooder wimps. Actually, Pikachu can act testosterone poisoned, but that's usually not the case.

Eric: Sailor Moon's recovered and now she and Pikachu are playing some sort of little game…

Z: Bother…talk about disappointment!

Kahless: *makes a dramatic entrance* Don't give up on some massive bleeding yet!

Z: YAY!! Time to see the whoop-ass distributed to these weaklings!

Mike: All right Kahless! Let's see some maiming and mangling, but I'm not sure how wise it would be to kill them.

Kahless: I don't care how "wise" it is! *hops down to the arena*

Eric: Kahless is stomping over to the anime heroes. They see him!

Sailor Moon: ICK! That has to be some sort of Negaverse monster!

Pikachu: Pika, pika pi?

Sailor Moon: Don't worry little guy, together we can cream big, bad and gruesome! MOON, TIARA…MAGIC!

Eric: Pikachu's fired his thunderbolt, accelerating and encircling Sailor Moon's tiara! What the hell kind of weapon is a tiara anyway?

Z: HA! Kahless makes a cool swing with his Bat'leth and knocks the Tiara to the ground! Some of the electricity zaps Kahless, but it's no where near enough to phase him!

Mike: Kahless pulls out some throwing weapons and throws them at Sailor Moon and Pikachu!

Z: Pikachu swiftly avoids them all via agility, but Sailor Moon is pinned up to the wall by weapons imbedded through her clothes and hair!

Eric: Pikachu lays into Kahless with a major thunderbolt! Kahless is a bit fried, but still standing.

Z: Pikachu zips over to Kahless and lands a few quick attacks! Kahless manages to catch Pikachu with a lucky kick and sends Pikachu flying! He's over to Sailor Moon, lifting the Bat'leth and…

PHSHING!

Mike: Hmm, a flying rose just smashed into Kahless' Bat'leth, throwing him off balance. There's a ding in the Bat'leth and the rose is sticking in the ground. I'm not surprised he showed up right now.

Tuxedo Mask: Don't worry Sailor Moon! I shall set you loose and we'll finish off this ugly guy!

Sailor Moon: Ooh…Tuxedo Mask…my hero…

Pikachu: *sweatdrops* PIKA!!

Eric: Pikachu is hitting Kahless with a few thundershocks as Tuxedo Mask pulls Sailor Moon of the wall.

Mike: Every Sailor Scout would have been long dead if it weren't for a rose-throwing, cape-wearing wuss. Sad, isn't it?

Z: Really? Hmm… Maybe if I off him…

Eric: Kahless is taking swings at Pikachu but he's way too fast! Pikachu's getting tired, and he's trying to get out of there!

Z: Sailor Moon just caught Kahless with a jump-kick! It's enough to knock Kahless back a little, but nothing more. A few mighty swings of the Bat'leth, but Sailor Moon manages to barely dodge each time! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR REPUTATION BEING THAT SLOW?!?!

Pikachu: Pika!!

Sailor Moon: Don't worry little guy, I'm starting to like you so of course I'm not going to let anything happen.

Kahless: Oh gag, I am going to be sick if I hear much more out of you! *yelling at Z* WELL EXCUSE ME, MR. SMART-ASS, THESE ARE ONLY TWO OF THE MOST AGILE FIGHTERS IN THE UNIVERSE, I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO ANY BETTER!!

Z: Not worth my time.

Eric: You really ought to be easy on Kahless in this case, he kind of lumbers in comparison to Pikachu and Sailor Moon has some killer dumb luck on her side.

Mike: Hey…Pikachu's doing something!

Z: Oh no…is that?

Eric: why…yes it is!

Mike: …POKEMON CUTENESS ATTACK!

Z: Kahless is going berserk…frothing mouth, cussing in 17 different languages, breaking anything handy…

Mike: He takes a swing but misses Pikachu! He does hit Sailor Moon though and sends her flying a good 10 meters.

Eric: Kahless becomes a spinning mass of blades and limbs heading for Pikachu! Pikachu jumps into the air over him, but Kahless does nick him and Pikachu is bleeding now.

Sailor Moon: MOON TIARA MAGIC!!

Kahless: RHUH?

BAM!!

Eric: Ouch. Bullseye.

Mike: I wonder how many weeks that's going to sting…

Z: Geez, this is humiliating… KAHLESS, YOU'VE KICKED THE ASSES OF PEOPLE MUCH TOUGHER THAN THOSE TWO, GET BACK UP!!

Mike: Hey…that tiara of hers…is it…

Eric: Oof…it's imbedded in Kahless' forehead!! Not only that, it's somehow managed to slip down some, making it kind of look like he's wearing it!

Z: He's gonna be pissed.

Kahless: Urg…*feels forehead* YAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRG!!!!!!!!!!

Sailor Moon: HEY! Don't you dare break that!

Pikachu: Pikachu!

Z: Sad. Kahless is desperately trying to wrestle that tiara off.

Eric: Tuxedo Mask has taken Pikachu and they've walking off, it looks like Sailor Moon is using the Silver Crystal Wand to charge up some kind of attack.

Sailor Moon: AURA OF DITZINESS!!

Eric and Mike: Aura of ditziness?!

Z: I've never heard of that attack!

The commentators quickly whip out a book titled "Dictionary of Anime Attacks" and, failing to find an "Aura" section flip to "Ditziness, Aura of." Eric reads aloud.

Eric: Ditziness, Aura of: This attack lashes out in all directions, forming an aura around the user, anyone caught by this attack is turned just as ditzy as its originator. Also, anyone caught by this attack gains some of the originator's personality and distinguishing traits such as bravery or clumsiness.

Z: By the alphabet! KAHLESS!!! GET OUT OF THERE!!!

Mike: Huh? Why are you warning him?

Z: Yipes that attack is getting big! Well, I wouldn't wish anything that bad on Kahless!

Eric: NOOO, you just want to kill him and step over his corpse to the starring position.

Z: Exactly!

Kahless: Me? Run from a little girl?! I think not!

Z: KAHLESS!! THAT ATTACK WILL MAKE YOU JUST AS DUMB, DITZY AND CLUMSY AS SHE IS!!!

Kahless: *eyes go big* Oh shit! *starts running*

The scene goes into slow motion, mocking action movie-explosion scenes. It shifts from Kahless desperately trying to outrun the shockwave, to Eric, Mike and Z urging him on. Kahless reaches a blockade in the arena and takes a flying leap over it, falling down to the ditch for safety. Unfortunately he doesn't quite make it and he's nicked by the ditz-ifying attack.

Z: Uh-oh. *teleports down by Kahless* Uh…Kahless…quick, what's two plus three?

Kahless: Oh…MATH!! Ick, won't do it!

Z: Doesn't look good… Kahless, going to get that twit for what she did?

Kahless: Nah… I just want to go play a video game. That ok?

Eric: How…anti-climatic… I HATE ANTI CLIMATIC!!!!!

Mike: Calm down boy! Have a candy…

Eric: Mmm…candy. *calms down* Looks like Tuxedo Mask is going to retrieve his rose…I don't know why, he never does in the show.

Mike: Hey, James from Team Rocket just appeared…it looks like…yeah! He just snatched up Tuxedo's rose!

Tuxedo Mask: HEY! Give me my rose back you purple haired freak!

James: Ha! No one recovers anything from Team Rocket!

Mike: Sad…a tug-of-war battle over a rose.

Eric: What I find sad is that it's the most action going on right now.

HexxJo: Hello, guys.

Eric: UH…HexxJo…what are you doing here?

HexxJo: It seems that someone gave my address to a walking mountain of an individual.

Mike: Wasn't me. *pointing at Eric*

Eric: Uh…how'd you get away from him anyway? I'm glad you did though!

HexxJo: Wasn't easy, but I've been put up against worse. Now…why'd you do that?

Eric: Um…seemed like a good idea at the time? Oh, I kind of disagree with your assessment of Sailor Neptune being the cutest scout…my vote goes to Sailor Mars easily.

HexxJo: MARS?!?! Have you ever seen her without her make-up?!

HexxJo drags Eric off stage and soon two loud screams are heard, one female, another male.

Mike: Oh boy…this should be good…

Eric: OK HEXX, I BELIEVE YOU!!

Sailor Mars: HEXXJO!?!? I TOLD YOU NOT TO PULL THIS AGAIN! MARS FIRE IGNITE!!

HexxJo and Eric, with rears on fire, come running back on the scene screaming with a very pissed Sailor Mars close behind.

Mike: Hi guys, having fun?

HexxJo: HEAD FOR THE POOL!!

Mars grabs both of them by their collars, scene shifts to Mike, who cringes at several loud bangs and thumps.

Eric: Thanks, Miss Maniac…OWIE…

Sailor Mars: I put the fire out, what more do you want?!

HexxJo: Yeah, that you did….WITH A SNOW SHOVEL!!

Eric: And…my head wasn't on fire!

Sailor Mars: Ok, fine then. MARS CELESTIAL…FIRE…

HexxJo: MAKE A BREAK FOR IT! *runs off*

Eric: NO NEED TO TELL ME TWICE!! *right behind HexxJo*

Mike: Hey, Z! Kahless ok?

Z: Nope, Kahless is lost to us, and Jessie showed up. Big Steve tried to stomp on Pikachu, but Jessie kicked him in an unpleasant area with some nasty shoes.

Mike: Ouch, that's cruel even for her. I see they've put him on a train out of town, they're demanding Pikachu… OW! Solar Beam from Bulbasaur and Sailor Moon's Elimination Attack send Team Rocket off into the distance!

Z: That's it. You want something done right…*hand starts glowing*

BLAM!!

Mike: Well, that does it. Sailor Moon and Pikachu are unconscious, along with Tuxedo Mask, Ash, and James…

Z: Ha! See, nothing Pokemon or Sailor Moon can stand up to me!!

A weird energy blast sends Z flying.

Mike: WHOA!! Z's up…up…over 400 feet in the air!!

Z: *Z manages to stop, making skid-sounds* Air brakes! OK, WHO DARES MESS WITH Z!!

Mike: Whoa! Some kind of blue beam just blew Z through the wall! I can't tell where he is….

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
WHAM!!!!!

Mike: That HAD to hurt…Z! You ok?

Z: Yeah….sure am….just as soon as I beat up the bozo who did this to me Auntie Em….. *falls over*

A mysterious glow covers the area and the mysterious figure, Z, Mike, Eric, and Ash teleport to a new arena that materializes when they get there. A weird shield covers the battle-arena.

???: I will prove you are not invulnerable to everything in my universe Z. And you three shall commentate and broadcast it for the universe to see!