Kahless: Awwww…NO!! We can't have these three fighting each other!! It'll be an embarrassment…they'll trip over EVERYTHING!!!

Z: I agree, we have to clear the arena of obstacles or something…

Kahless: Go to the viewer interviews, we'll think of something while they're going.

A: Joxer.

Q: Who was it that was willing to stare down psycho-barbie herself for the sake of an injured horse.

A: Joxer.

Needless to say, this man has got some serious intestinal fortitude behind that armor, (which btw is deliberately meant to look stupid in order to make his enemies underestimate him.) Conversely, Jar Jar just a floppy eared wussy boy (and does anyone really know that thing even is a boy) who runs away from battle. And as for that Poke-dork, I've never heard of him so he must be a loser. Joxer, will somehow, someway, always find a way to not only survive, but take out some baddies in the process. The guy must have the ancient world equivalent of Mojo(TM).

But don't take my word for it. Songs never lie.

**cue that annoying yet oddly catchy tune**

Joxer the Mighty
Roams through the countryside
He never needs a place to hide
With Gabby as his sidekick
Fighting with her little stick
Righting wrongs and singing songs
Being mighty all day long
He's Joxer--he's Joxer the Mighty!

There you have it, scientific proof that Joxer is indeed a bad ass. (Yes, I'm aware that I should stop living near power lines now.)

Lynx: Well, I don't follow Team Rocket, so I will remove James from the equation.

Joxer tries to fight, as Kahless pointed out. On the other hand, Jar Jar massacred battle droids in TPM with his luck, as Z pointed out. Of note however is that Joxer has luck almost as powerful in some episodes. He also has points in my opinion because he doesn't ruin Xena (And even if he did I wouldn't care), while Jar Jar does ruin SW. (And I do care about that). Thus, my vote has to go to Joxer.

Peter Smith: C'mon, James gets beaten up by cute little animals that a ten year old kid can control, and Jar-Jar would probably trip over something and kill himself anyway (and if not, then all the zillions of people who hated The Phantom Menace because of him will catch up to him and rip him to shreds. Joxer wins because he hangs around with Gabby and Xena, and has of course picked up a few moves. He's brave enough to stand up to Callisto when she had a knife pressed at his throat (it did happen, in the ep 'Callisto') and he's funny. Plus, he has an evil twin, and we all know what kind of power that gives you on TV.

Z-man

Rule no. 1: Joxer must be knocked out once per battle. Rule no. 2: every battle ends with team Rocket blasting off. Rule no. 3: Jar Jar has fool's luck.

Jar Jar should win, but who's going to vote for him?

I vote Joxer!

Devin The Mental Hospital Escapee: DAMN YOU!!!! DAMN YOU ALL!!!!!! WHY CAN YOU NOT PUT IN A BOTH MANGLED AND KILLED BUTTON? WHY? OH, THE HUMANITY!!!! *ahem* I can't stand Jar-Jar, PERIOD! He's out. Ummm....James calls in Pika-Puke and wins......

HexxJo: Let's see here. Jar Jar is the antichrist, so he must die. Joxer has his moments, but my interest in Xena has dropped off considerably as of late. James, on the other hand, quite frankly has more style and "coolness" that the others can ever hope to have. Those dramatic speeches, the groovy fashion sense, and the willingness to crossdress all make him quite cool in my book.

Ferio: Well, lets see. I only remember James winning once, and that was when he and Jessie fought Ann and Ail at BMSCE. I don't remember seeing Joxer win anything (although you could correct me if I'm wrong), so the win goes to Jar Jar Binks, Who went from zero to hero in a matter of days.

Meowth_Rocket Okay, I've heard Jar Jar is really annoying, and ever since seeing the commercial for a lollypop where you actually lick Jar-Jar's tongue, I will not vote for him. *Shudder* Ewwww...his tongue. Anyways, Joxer, well, I just don't like the guy. I guess that leaves James, whom I know won't win, he's too nice, but I'll go ahead and vote for him, the little Rocket guy. Just call it sympathy for Jessie and Meowth. Poor things...

Editor says: Meowth_Rocket? Biased vote! Biased vote!!

Z: We have it!

Kahless: These losers won't fight! They'll be put in a contest to see who can annoy a rock to death first!

Z: We have the better characters in the stands for this one!

Kahless: Jessie, Meowth, Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi Wan, Xena and Gabrielle are here to watch their comic relief get killed.

Z: They're coming out, headed for the rock…

Rock: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! *runs away*

Kahless:…….

Z:…….

Kahless:……*blinks*….

Z: The rock ran away…

Kahless: the prospect of being annoyed by all three at once was too much for it….

Z: What do we do now? Have them annoy each other?

Kahless: NO!! Don't even…

Joxer: I am not annoying! I am Joxer the Mighty!

Jar Jar: Really? Yous a warrior den?

James: "The Mighty" ha-ha, yeah right.

Joxer: Songs never lie! Let me prove it to you! *music starts up*
Joxer the mighty!
He's very tidy!
everyone admires him!
He's so handsome it's a sin!
when things get grim,
He'll take it on the chin.
If you're in jeopardy,
Caught by the enemy,
Don't call the Calvary,
There's a better remedy,
Although he doesn't work for free!
He's every man's trusty!
He's every woman's fantasy!
Plus he's good company!
Look out!
He's Joxer, Joxer the mighty!
Joxer, Joxer the mighty!!
*music stops*

Jar Jar: Hey, datsa cool song!

James: Ha! That's nothing! Watch this! *hops behind a clothes-change screen*
Dressed as Jessie: *in a feminine voice* Prepare for trouble!
Back to normal: *in normal voice* Make it double!
As Jessie: To protect the world from devastation!
"Normal": To unite all peoples within our nation!
As Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love!
"Normal": To extend our reach to the stars above!
As Jessie: Jessie!
"Normal": James!
As Jessie: Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!
"Normal": Surrender now or prepare to fight!
Dressed in a Meowth Costume: *with Jersey accent* Meowth! That's right!

Jar Jar: hey! Datsa hecka weird! How's you-a do dat so fast?

Z:………I am mentally scarred now……

Kahless: Me too Z….James doesn't get to answer the question as Jar-Jar lashes out with his tongue and grabs James' rose!

Z: James saves it just in time, he and Jar-Jar are have a sort of tug-of-war fight over it…

James: ARRGGUAGG!! Give me back my rose you freak!!!

Joxer: Yo! Thine fellow warriors, Kahless and Z! Would you mind if I hacked these two up?

Kahless and Z: BY ALL MEANS, PLEASE!!

Kahless: Joxer pulls out his sword, and yells something at the other two. Jar Jar drops James' rose, and James picks it off the ground…he doesn't see Joxer!

Z: Jar Jar trips over James and Joxer trips on him. James is….running? He's hiding in the corner of the arena!!

Kahless: COWARD!! Joxer is chasing Jar-Jar around the arena, trying to hit him…Jar-Jar always manages to duck out of the way somehow…

Z: Yeesh…pathetic…Looks like there's more action going on in the stands…

Kahless: You're quite right Z! Let's get a camera over there!

Xena: Ha ha ha!! You're pal is scared of Joxer!!! That's pathetic! He must be the biggest loser in existence.

Jessie: You take that back!! Miss Leather.

Xena: You have a problem with the outfit?

Jessie: It's only the most horrible thing I've ever seen! Weren't you born with any fashion sense?

Obi Wan: Excuse me…*moves to split the two up*

Qui-Gon Jinn: *stops Obi Wan* Now, now. Have I taught you nothing?

Obi Wan: huh?

Qui-Gon Jinn: The wise Jedi master never interrupts a catfight.

Kahless: Humans…*rolls eyes*

Z: Jessie and Xena are really getting into it! Jessie used a mallet and smashed Xena out of her seat! Gabrielle is moving to help!

Meowth: Oh no you don't blondie!

Kahless: Meowth jumped Gabrielle and is scratching the heck out of her! She's trying to fight back, but Meowth's too quick!

Z: Jessie lands a couple of kung-fu blows on Xena! Xena comes back at her, pulls out her sword!

Kahless: Only to have it whacked away by a fan! Xena and Jessie are going at each other! Xena's quicker but Jessie seems to have a lot more physical strength…

Z: Gabrielle's got Meowth!! She's choking the cat pokemon!

Meowth: YYEEEEAAAARRRG!!!!

Gabrielle: Take this you little…

Jessie: *spins around* WHAT NOW MEOWTH?!?!

Z: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Kahless: HAHAHA!! When Jessie spun around her hair smacked Xena in the head and knocked the Warrior Princess out cold!

Z: Now she's off to remove Meowth's neck from Gabrielle's deathgrip.

Kahless: Oh my…Joxer is leaning on his sword panting. Jar-Jar's panting too, neither is moving much…James is looking out of his corner now…

Knock! Knock!!

Z: Who could that be?

Kahless: Who is it Z?

Z: It's a large, angry mob!

Kahless: Does it have an appointment?

Z:….yes.

Kahless: With who?

Z: It's the league of Star Wars Junkies, they want to see Jar-Jar!

Angry Mob: DIE JAR JAR DIE!!!

Kahless: They're flooding the arena! Hundreds of Star Wars fanatics that hated the Phantom Menace because of Jar-Jar Binks!! They're almost to the exhausted fighters!! What's this? James has taken refuge in the stands? He's reaches his hand to Joxer and pulls him up!

Z: Just in time too!! The crazed fanatics are making short work of Jar-Jar! Egad that's gross!!

Kahless: Eh, see you later people.

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