Now, LET MORTAL KOMBAT BEGIN!!!!!!!
.....ooops, wrong thing.....oh, well....
Kahless:Hello, reporting on-the-scene via the Sovreign class U.S.S. Vengance. Which has been re-fitted with a Klingon cloaking device.
Z: Whoah! There must be 30 Star Destroyers jumping in! Their headed right for the Last Vindrizi base, just like StarFleet Intelligence thought they would.
Kahless: Just in case you're wondering, StarFleet is following the Prime Directive and not interfering. But that's no reason not to record it and sell the vids to the unfortunate Klingons not on the front lines against the Dominion. Oh, wait....The Brackiri have pulled up every ship they have available, but they are clearly doomed. Out-sized, out-gunned, not out-numbered ship-wise, but soilder-wise the Empire has the advantage.
Z: Oh-boy, SDs are charging the main guns, this is going to be big! Well, probably a slaughter actually......but still, explosions are good.
Kahless: Jump points forming........it's the White Star fleet. They fly right past the Vindrizi vessels and are headed for the Star Destroyers.
Z: Who outnumbers who?
Kahless: Can't tell, it's hard to count......hey, put the phone down!
Z: Just 10 bucks! What harm can come of that!
Oh WOW! Both fleets launch a huge attack, firepower fills the sky! A Star Destroyer is down and so is a White Star! The White Stars are regrouping for a different strategy.
Kahless:.........Z?......eh, were you being useful just then?......um....
Z: The White Stars have taken up strategic positions, trying to hit the Star Destroyers from 3 angles.
Kahless: Are you sure that that's your script Z?
Z: Actually..........It is.
Kahless:......Ah.......well the Star Destroyers have launched and unbelievable amount of Tie Bombers. And the White Stars tear right through them with minimal damage.
Z: Here come the Tie Fighters...they shoot, White Stars are....what?!?! Just ramming through them!?!?!
Kahless: If you'd pay attention you'd see the White Stars are shooting every so often.
Z: Well, now they're trying the Tie Interceptors, aren't those more manuverable?
Kahless: .....doesn't look like it helped.....A squad of Ties like Darth Vader's prototype are being launched.
Z: KA-BLAM! Bye-bye Ties!
Kahless: The White Stars are continuing on their way to the Star Destroyers, looks like they don't care that the surviving Ties are following them.
Z: There are surviving ties?
Kahless: Yeah, not even the White Stars are that accurate. After all, it's like insect swarms, you *never* get them all.
Z: I think the Borg could.
Kahless: I don't even want to think about the Borg! But, I'd say they'd nab only 'bout 90% of the Ties and then get tired.
Z: Borg don't get tired.
Kahless: Oh, being Mr. Nit-Pick today are we?
Z: Shush, they're shooting at each other.
Kahless: Ah! I missed the opening SD shots! I'm gonna fire you.
Z: And replace me with who? You don't know anyone else.
Kahless: Well, the causualties look to be 1 White Star disabled, 3 destroyed, 2 Star Destroyers disabled, and 2 destroyed.
Z: I think that the Star Destroyers are confused by that flip-and-shoot thing the White Stars do.
Kahless: The White Stars are dodging most shots, and are starting to adapt while trying to pummel the Star Destroyers into oblivion. What do you mean flip-and-shoot thing? can't you think of a better term?!?
Z: I'd like to see you do better. Geez, how is the White Stars are dodging? I can't even see through the SD's blasts. Oh, wait there's a little less firepower now.
Kahless: How about White-Star-Panteded Maneuver? Yes, because two White Stars just blew all the weapons of one of the SDs.
Z:No way, too long. Why's the crippled SD charging forward??
Kahless: I dunno. I guess we'll see.
Z: Looks like it's swinging...
Kahless: It stops, a White Star smacks into it, and spins off!
Z: What just happened?
Kahless: The Star Destroyer bunted the White Star! The White Star's still going?
Z: And tradition to many satires, the SD is now running around a few bases that came out of no where.
Kahless: The WSs continue to weave around firing at the SDs, looks like that the 'bunt-thing' insulted them. The SDs are firing ballisticly at the WSs. Wait, how come the SDs aren't hitting each other? It looks like they should be....
Z: You know, I think you're right. They shoot in the direction of each other, but they never get any friendly fire. Well, now that I come to think of it, the Minbari never did either, even though some scenes in that In The Beginning movie made it look like the fighters should have accidentally shot their cruisers.
Kahless: Too true, but none-the-less, we aren't doing our jobs well.
Z: zzzzzzzz.....
Kahless: I think the White Stars just about have this one wrapped up.
SSD: ZOOOOM!!!
Z: Huh?
Kahless: A Super Star Destroyer has just jumped in and is dispensing holy-h*** on a democratic basis.
Z: Yeah, looks like it shot down 2 White Stars! 4 more are damaged. Wow, it's big.
Kahless: Yeah, the White Stars are hitting it with everything they've got, but they just aren't doing enough damage.
Z: They're blowing holes straight through it!
Kahless: The White Stars have inflicted heavy damage upon The SSD, but have been forced to retreat.
Z: This this is a good time for a Monty Python and The Holy Grail quote...
Kahless: "Run away! Run away!" That one?
Z: Exactly the one. Oh, is this where the Empire takes over the Brackiri?
Kahless: I dunno, looks like they're sizing up the situation, and the Empire backs off, it's fleet is too damaged to continue.
Z: Kahless, should we go out and pick up some of the wreckage? I bet if we got hyperspace technology, and went warp in hyper-space, it would be one of the fastest modes of transportation ever!
Kahless: HEY!! THAT WAS MY IDEA FIRST!!!
Z: This is Z the Immortal, and Kahless the Unstable, signing off, we hope to see you soon.