Kahless: Hi folks! We're finally away from that horrible boring battle!
Z: YAY! *waves flag*
Kahless: And are reporting to you live from the Klingon Vor'cha class ship the Pagh'Rah.
Z: Gahk! Boo!
Kahless: We are following a small fleet of 7 Imperial scout ships which seem to be headed for a Minbari outpost.
Z: They're what?!? Attacking the Minbari?? Who's stupid enough to attack the Minbari??
Kahless: Humans for one......
Z:......got a point there
Kahless: Ok, they're coming out of hyper-space, we're dropping out of warp...
Z:...the Empire outnumbers B5...
Kahless: That's a pesimistic attitude! Anyway, the 7 scout ships are headed for a Minbari orbiting station which is being guarded by a fighter squadron and 2 Warships. The Minbari are moving to engage.
Z: That badly outnumbered???
Kahless: Hey, It's like Garibaldi said.
Z: Ok, oh wait they're starting to fire!
Kahless: Minbari fliers out, Tie Fighters coming out, Tie's fire!
Z: and miss! Is the concept of aiming alien to the Empire?
Kahless: I think it is...anyway, the Minbari return fire and slag a good two dozen Ties.
Z: The Ties are scattering, and the Minbari are chasing.
Kahless: The Minbari fighters are also turning the Ties into so much liquid.
Z: The main ships are in range, they shoot!
Kahless: The Minbari stealth technology doesn't seem to be helping the Empire's aim!
Z: Actually, with their (apparantly) blind gunners, it's not really hurting either.
Kahless: Z's right, the Minbari ships are taking some hits from the turbo lazers....wait? Z's RIGHT?!?!
Z: *glares at Kahless*
Kahless: The Minbari are firing their largest ray (the one on top of the ship)...and appear to be missing on purpose...no wait, their bringing it down, and use the beam to chop the scout ship in half karate style!
Z: Now it's chopping the scout in half the other way.
Kahless: And now diagonally...
Z: It's in 8 pieces, isn't that enough?
Kahless: For the Empire it is, the scouts have swung around to try and attack the Minbari from the side and back.
Z: A Minbari cruiser just got shot in the engine! The other one's running!
Kahless: I don't think the Minbari really run...The Empire's boarding the crippled ship.
Z: ewwww...I didn't know there'd be so much splatter with those fighting pikes...
Kahless: 500 Storm Troopers are running from a couple dozen Minbari!
Z: Can you blame them? The other 250 Storm Troopers are a sort of soup-like substance...
Kahless: The tactically withdrawing Minbari cruiser just got a ship in the engines, and it spirals off!
Z: They still look doomed if you ask me, two of the Imperial ships are preparing to focus all their firepower on the crippled ship.
Kahless: Jump Gates are forming! And two Minbari cruisers come out, giving our Imperial friends the greeting they deserve!
Z: Yeah, they're blowing the sh*t out of one of those scouts, cutting it up into really small bits.
Kahless: Still slicing it up! ......they're still going. Man, that things GOT to be in enough pieces for them by now!
Z: Wait, it's being cut into a design......it's....it's...
Kahless and Z: It's the Sizzler's Awesome Blossom!
Z: *snicker snicker* Seems that the Minbari do have a sense of humor.
Kahless: One Minbari cruiser's taken up a defensive position by the disabled warship while the other two continue to pummel the scouts into oblivion!
Z: Sensors show something coming this way.....it's an ISD!
Kahless: The Minbari gun down another scout ship. Carving it into..something, I don't know what it is, but it might look good on a Christmas tree.
Z: Minbari fighters are coming back from cleaning out the Tie Fighters, only to run into Tie Interceptors.
Kahless: The Minbari are taking it in stride and wiping up the Interceptors.
ISD: ZOOOOM!!! Blam! Blam!
Z: Geez that ship's big!! It's even bigger than the Minbari heavy cruisers!
Kahless: The Minbari have stopped playing tic tac toe on the hulls of the scout ships to focus on the Destroyer.
Z: A scout flies in behind a Minbari cruiser and lets loose with the ion cannons!
Kahless: Many shots miss, but they stop the cruiser! And Fighters are coming in!
Z: And the Fliers cut the Imperial ship into one of those human-paper-chain things....except it's Minbaris instead of humans.
Kahless: The Minbari fighters continue to tear through the Tie Fighters, but they've lost a lot of ships due to the Tie's sheer numbers.
Z: You mean the Ties have kamikazeed?
Kahless: Some, yes. The ISD hits a Minbari cruiser, which cuts loose with it's 'fin-guns' the shields seem to be taking most of the blow though.
Z: That Minbari cruiser that was crippled first is back in action......ooh! it just wasted the last scout!
Kahless: And it's coming for the ISD now! The ISD is firing at all 3 Minbari ships, even hitting them occasionally and the Minbari are wearing away the ISD's shields!
Z: Huh? what happened?!?
Kahless: The scout that spiralled off is back under control and it just shot down Minbari cruiser! It's headed for another one guns blazing!
Z: This is going to be good.
Kahless: 8 Minbari fighters being followed by Ties are headed for the last scout head-on!
Z: The scout's firing, Ties are firing!
Kahless: And the Minbari pull up quickly! The Scout shoots down most of the Ties and takes heavy damage from the Tie's shots! The rest of the Ties are too stupid to swerve and crash right into the scout!
Z: BOOM! Space debrie!
Kahless: The Minbari have finally cut through the ISD's shields! It's starting to come apart under the Minbari Death Rays!
Z: It's still shooting though, now it's focusing on the crippled ship!
Kahless: The Minbari don't like that! They've increased their attack's ferocity and totally waste one half of the ISD!
Z: Why'd they leave half of it?
Kahless: I don't know, but one ship is cutting something into the surviving hull...
Z: What is it?
Kahless: I can't tell, we're not facing the side that they're carving up.
Z: They seem to be done, they're heading off to the orbital station for repairs. Let's see what they did to the ship.
Kahless: The Minbari are wiping up the last of the Ties as they head back to base. My thoughts exactly, let's go.
Z: Wonder if it's anything funny?
Kahless: Considering this site's history, it will probably be amusing at the least.
The cloaked Klingon ship pulls around to the undestroyed part of the Star Destroyer.
Z: Well....
Kahless: Folks, I wasn't expecting this. The Minbari used their lazers to sort of sign the ship, it reads:
Don't f*ck with the Minbari.
Z: I'd say that sums it up nicely.
Kahless: Well folks, we'll see you later, until then...
Vooosh!!! The Klingon warcruiser is tossed around by a passing Borg fleet consisting of cubes, assimilated Shadow vessels and the First Ones that Ivanova bugged with that whole "the Vorlons said you wouldn't be up for a fight like this" speech.
Z: The Borg again! ..but.....they were RUNNING AWAY!! FROM WHAT!?!?!
Kahless: *looks paniked* Species 8472?!?!? NOOO! DON'T TELL ME SPECIES 8472 IS HERE?!?!
The Klingon Warcruiser is once again tossed about by a passing fleet, this time a huge Vorlon fleet in hot pursuit of the Borg.
Z: That's it! We're going before anything else happens! Bye!