Kahless: Neq Neh, we are on the planet.......*looking at map*.......Tichondris 3. We are about to watch the first non-space battle to occur on this site.

Z: Yeah, the Empire has pulled out those monsterous AT-ATs and is preparing to take out an Earth colony.

Kahless: The Earth Alliance outpost here may very well be stomped into paste, but IT WILL BE A GLORIOUS BATTLE!!!

Thunderbolt: YOU KLINGONS HAVE A REAL AGRESSION PROBLEM!!! YA KNOW?!?!

Kahless: Yes, we are well aware of our violent tendancies and are proud of them!

Z: Hey, is it true that the Rebels are going to help with this battle?

Thunderbolt: Yes it is, they've contributed defense cannons and Snow Speeders.

Kahless: Earth Alliance has the military majority here though, they have a few Thunderbolt Starfury squads, multiple.....hovering....battle...things...and a lot of defense cannons.

Thunderbolt: Anyone know what those hovering battle things are?

There are multiple "No"s

Kahless: We'll just call them Hover-fighters 'cause we don't want to argue like we did over the Special White Star Manuver.

Z: I thought we agreed on Flip-by-Assault!

Thunderbolt: ....I thought it was the B5-Attack actually.....

The commentators argue a while, but soon get into childish name-calling.

Z: Weirdo? That's the best you can do? .........Jetfire?

Thunderbolt: I find that only mildly offensive.......YOU FREAK!!!!

Kahless: Be original would you? You unpopular Star Fury model!

Z: *sticks tounge out at Thunderbolt*

Kahless: *does the fingers into the eye thing*

Thunderbolt: Ah, the 2 stooges eh?

Kahless and Z: WHY YOU.....

THUMP!!!

Z:.......?

THUMP!!!!

Kahless: The ground seems to be shaking......

THUMP!!!!

Z:....no, it seems like everything is jumping up and down. THUMP!!!! see, the table, the wall, the glass, they all hopped up! oh.......wait--LOOK!! *points to a puddle*

THUMP!!!!Little ripples go throughout the puddleTHUMP!!!!! More ripples

Kahless: Uh-oh....

Thunderbolt: That would be the Imperial Walkers. What do ya bet?

Z: Nothing this time, you're right.

Kahless: It's two AT-ATs, 4 AT-STs, and a LOT of Storm Troopers.

Thunderbolt: We gonna fight? HUH? HUH!? HUH?!?

Kahless: Probably, but right now I want you to go down to the E.A.'s scout parties and see how they're doing.

Thunderbolt zips off and slips by a few human soilders veiwing the Imperial forces. A large regiment of Storm Troopers marches by:

Imperial Officer: I don't know, but I've been told.

Storm Troopers: I don't know, but I've been told.

Imperial Officer: We're gonna die in massive droves!

Storm Troopers: We're gonna die in massive droves!

E.A. Soldier: This one's in the bag.

A AT-ST walks by, and then an AT-AT steps over the EA Officers.

E.A. Soldier: Why is life never easy?

Other E.A. Soldier: Because, then extras could live.

E.A. Commander: Ok, this is just the first wave, get ready for Trouble!!!

Kahless: Everyone is getting into battle positions, they're powering up all weapons, launching snow-speeders and hover-fighters.

Z: Why even bother with snow-speeders? They are useless against the might of the Imperial Walkers!

Kahless: No they aren't, with the right tactics, they can put up a good fight.

Z:.....fine, disagree with me on every little thing then!

Kahless: Hey, Thunderbolt, how's things going out there?

Thunderbolt: Looks to be fairly gory in a few minutes.

Z: Ooh...laser beams pretty...

Kahless: Yes Z, but could you commentate?

Z: Never did before, why should I start now?

Kahless: Fine. Well, the snow-speeder and hover-fighters unloaded a fierce firestorm upon the Imperial Walkers, while an AT-ST was destroyed the AT-ATs appear utterly unphased and shot down two of each enemy flier.

Kahless: The Storm Troopers on foot have just run upon the Rebel/E.A. Trenches, both sides are opening fire!

Z: The Storm Troopers let loose a volley of firepower 25 times what the Rebels and E.A. did, but they're still falling down in mass droves! With no apparant E.A. causualties!

Kahless: Storm Troopers continue to drop, some dying by tripping, some by PPGs, some by Imperial blasters from their friends behind them! Oh, what! A Rebel just got shot in the shoulder!

Z: The Storm Troopers are living up to their march song.....in fact some aren't even hit when they fall down! THUD!! Uh.....Kahless.....um....LOOK!!!

Kahless:....what?!!.....oh, those AT-ATs are a bit close......THUMP!!! The Rebels are shooting at them, but their blasters don't hurt AT-AT armor....

Z: Some Thunderbolt Starfuries are going to give it a try.

Thunderbolt: ALL RIGHT!!! GO GUYS! TAKE 'EM DOWN!!!

Kahless: The Thunderbolts are hitting the AT-ATs with everything they got, causing them to rock around, but they aren't really causing much damage.

Z: hey, those hovering battle thingys are coming up.

Kahless: I thought we agreed on hover-fighters.

Z: Yeah, yeah whatever, the hover-fighters are firing......something, not sure what they are.....

Kahless: I don't know.......Thunderbolt?

Thunderbolt: They're.....erm....antiimatter warheads.

BA-BOOM!!!

Kahless: Two of an AT-AT's legs have been incenerated, and it topples over into the other AT-AT! Both AT-ATs are now lying there, not a very dramatic defeat, but they're immobile at least.

Z: Oh, we forgot about the AT-STs, they're gone though, the Rebels got 'em.

Thunderbolt: Don't forget, intelligence reports say this is just the first wave.

The horizon is completely full of Storm Troopers, with AT-ATs and AT-STs scattered among the group.

Z:......*whistle*

Kahless: Every single defense cannon over here has opened fire! I can hardly see through the rain of weapons!

Z:........oooh, all sorts o'colors...

Kahless: The blasting is starting to slow down.

Z: Probably laser cannons are starting to melt.

Kahless: .......WHA?!?! The AT-ATs are still standing! The armor is badly cracked and burned but they're still coming!

Z: Well...the Empire does have decent weaponry......I'd almost lost faith

Kahless: There are only a few AT-STs left and the hover-fighters and snow speeders are headed to take down the Imperial Walkers.

Z: The snow-speeders rush, get shot down! One does that trip-wire thing and now the ATs are REALLY gunning for them!

Kahless: Yes, humans would say that it's a bad day to be a snow-speeder pilot. The hover-fighters are coming into range and firing!

Z: CRASH!! goes an AT-AT, but they're firing back and they waste the slow moving hover thingies!

Kahless: Some Thunderbolt Star Furies have come in and toppled another AT-AT, it looks about even so far....

Z: Do you hear that?

Kahless: The AT-STs have gotten two thunderbolts, but the AT-ATs can't get them! No I don't, now shut up and let me commentate!

Z: I'm serious, it sounds like big footsteps....

Kahless: There are AT-ATs out there, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT!?!?!

Z:......no, something different...something....

ROOOOAAAARRR!!!!!!

Kahless: WHAT THE!?!?! It's....it's....GODZILLA?!?! And he...just ate a snow-speeder and blasted a hover-fighter!!!

Z: WHAT THE?!!? Helping the Empire??? That CAN'T BE!!! I pay him myself!!!!!!!

Vader: We made him a better offer! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Kahless:......uhm....well, Godzilla is now attacking some Thunderbolt Star Furies....

Thunderbolt: WHAT THE H*LL???

Z: Godzilla ate a Thunderbolt!!! hmm, titanium alloy, breakfast of champions! heeheehee

Kahless: Well....Godzilla seems to have turned this battle against us, everyone's running!

Z: EXCEPT FOR THE AT-AT THAT'S GOING TO STEP ON US!!!!!!!

The commentators scramble out of the "sports box" and head for high-ground.

Z: HEY!! You're a Starfury! Give us a lift!

Thunderbolt: EXCUSE ME?! Do I look like a free ride? Or maybe one of those kiddie things that you put a quarter in to ride, huh? WELL I DON'T TAKE PASSENGERS!!!!

Kahless: There's a jumpgate forming overhead....it's a White Star!!!

Z: And it's headed right for Godzilla.

Thunderbolt: It shoots and sends that Iguana into a distant rock pile! Now it's headed to finish the job!

Kahless: The White Star zips over, but Godzilla's gone........

Z:....did HE run?

ROOOOAAAAR!!!!

Z: YI!!! He just came out of no-where!

Kahless: And he's bit the wing, they're fighting, and now Godzilla's shaking the White Star like a huge chew toy! And he chucks it off into the distance!

Thunderbolt: The White Star survived the crash and it's coming back for the lizard!!

Z: BLAM!!! BOOM!!! Two AT-ATs just shot it down!!

Kahless: Well....it means ANOTHER RETREAT, but let us go so we may live to commentate another day!

The Commentators evacuate along with the Rebels and Earth Alliance, the Empire now controls this planet.

Note from the Author: This is as "dumb" as this site will get, there won't be any other weird additions like Transformers or ID4 Aliens or anything like that, but this isn't the last of Godzilla....