Q: Bonjour, one and all, it's me again! NO ONE CAN GET RID OF ME EVER!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ok, now that that's out of my system, on to buisiness.

Q snaps his fingers and he's on a stage with 5 numbered doors.

Q: Ok, I'm going to select a member of the audience to come down and choose the commentators for this battle! I had several good ideas, but it's so hard to choose. *pulls a card out of a bin* And our winner is.......*drum roll*......Eric Trumble! COME ON DOWN!!!

The camera pans to the bleachers where the owner of this website is tied down to a chair, by himself. Two guys come out of nowhere and carry him onstage.

Q: Alright, "Mr." Trumble, there are 5 doors here, each one has a potential battle commentator behind it. You choose one, I open the door, and that individual will be this battle's commentator!!

Eric: You know, I like the Q character, there was no reason to tie me up. And, yeah, the system sounds cool.

Q:.........awwwww.....no reason to tie you up?!? You're no fun! er.....well, anyway, pick a door kid.

Eric: er........hmmm.......think, think, think......oh, Door 2 will do.

Q: And who's behind door number 2?

Big Booming Announcer Voice: She's an expert in Borg and First Ones, she owns a Borg website, and she volunteered to be a commentator a while back....she's Gnowgnaym!!

Q:....No Name?......oh well, choose another door!

Eric:.....oh, 5.

Q: Ed, tell us who this is!

Big Booming Announcer Voice: She's a major character on Star Trek Voyager, the former Borg 7 of 9!

Eric: Pardon me, but 7? You expect her to commentate?

Q: Hmmmm, you have a point.....I'll try to force her, and if she doesn't cooperate, SNAP!!

Gnownayme: Come on guys! I cam here to commentate on a battle, stop the jabberring and let's go!

7 of 9:......What am I doing here?

Q: Commentating on battle, now, let's do as Gnownayme says!

The group, without the writer, zips over to a planet orbiting a lone star outside our galaxy.

7 of 9: I do not understand the relevance in any of this.......who is this battle in between? Why am I suppossed to announce from this absurd "spors box"? why waste the time?

Q: This is the Borg vs. The First Ones. And you commentate because their are several fans out there who want to see the Borg fight more 'cause the writer's been too lazy to create the Borg battles.

Author: HEY!!!

7 of 9: Well, as we all know, resistance is futile, commentary is irrelevant.

Gnownaym: Is not, if we don't commentate, the readers won't know what's happened. Oh, here come the Borg.

7 of 9: Did I miss something? The Cubes look different.

Gnownaym: that's Shadow bio-armor, I guess they decided it was better defence than their armor, oh, here come the first ones, jumpgates opening.

7 of 9: *sits there looking confused*

Gnownaym: The Borg are opening a channel, to deliver their first contact-ultimatum.

Borg Collective: WE ARE THE BORG. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

First Ones: Ummmm....ZOG.

Borg:.....SPECIES 8479 DOES NOT SPEAK ENGLISH.......THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE....

Borg Queen: Doesn't matter! WASTE 'EM!!!

Gnownaym: The Borg, in their typical style have let loose with Tractor beam-disruptors and torpedoes.

7 of 9: What is it Species 8479 is firing back?

Gnownaym: Interesting question......I don't know. Q?

Q:......uh........Well, it's a big freakin' energy beam, that's all you need to know right?

7 of 9: I suppose so. Well, a Borg Cube has been destroyed and another 2 are floating dead, Species 8479 is provided strong resistance.

Gnownaym: The Borg have upped the ante and are firing Shadow slicer beams.

7 of 9: Shadow??

Q: Species 8475.

7 of 9: Oh.

Gnownaym: The Borg are pushing an offensive, they've destroyed a First One ship and crippled another.

7 of 9:......The Borg are actually USING tech they've assimilated??? Well.....first time for everything I guess.

Gnownaym: Well, I guess so. The Borg are boarding the crippled first one ship.

BWA-ZAAAPP!!!!!

Q: Ouch.

7 of 9: What was that?

Gnownaym:.....THAT was.....a phsycic blast that pulverized 15 Borg Drones.

7 of 9: STRONG resistance....well, they're not Species 8472, so the Borg WILL prevail. What's that?

Gnownaym: That is a first one....a sort of disembodied face......headed for the Borg.

First One: Vorga! Noa-cha, kingla PHU!!! Dikongrease gogohone!!!

Borg Drone: Yeah, whatever. NOW, BE ASSIMILATED!!!!

The Borg drone leaps up at the first one and sticks it with the assimilation tubules. The First One starts making really bizzarre twitches and convulsions, then it flies backwards very quickly firing psionic blasts at the slowly advancing Borg.

7 of 9: The Borg are adapting! hah! Stupid First Ones! NO ONE MESSES WITH THE BORG!!!!......oops, out of character......*resumes normal Borg posture*

Gnownaym: *raises eyebrow at 7* Well, that incident is being repeated all over the ship with similar results. However there is no indication that the First Ones are being assimilated, but merely tortured by the nano-probes.

7 of 9: The Borg will be most annoyed about this.

Gnownaym: The Borg are pulling back a ways and it seems they are preparing to fire the nano-probe laced torpedoes.

The Borg Cubes each fire a massive volley of torpedoes at the First One ships.

Gnownaym: I know they worked against the Shadows, since most First Ones have organic ships, but do these guys don't look like they have organic hulls...

Blam! Wham! Boom! Pow! Slam!

7 of 9: Well, time to get your answer.

The First One vessels shudder violently, but then continue towards the Borg.

Gnownaym: Well, there is a negative effect, it appears the nano-probes are sort of eating away at the hull, but there is no assimilation effect!

7 of 9: THAT will get the Borg really p*ssed.

Surely enough, the Borg Cubes start firing insanely at the First One's ships.

Gnownaym: Well, it's getting hard to keep track, the fleets have gone "toe-to-toe" and are mauling each other.

Q: Hey, I'll record this "fireworks show" for Z, he'll like it.

Gnownaym: Yeah, sure, whatever. Well, the beams are hitting each other and in a "push" contest, which is strange in of itself....whoah! What's happening now?!?!

7 of 9: The weapons are somehow disrupting each other to the point that they're forming a.......*gulp*.....quantum singularity!

Gnownaym: *looks just a little confused*

Several Bioships fly out of the singularity and look for something to shoot at.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Gnownaym: WHAT WAS THAT?!?!

Q: That...was the Borg!!

Species 8472's Bioships turn around and "look" at the First One ships, who promptly flee.

7 of 9: Species 8472 will not be happy to have left fluidic space and not get to blow anything up.

Species 8472 blows up a couple of planets and moons, and leaves.