Gnownaym: Hello, this is Gnownaym reporting in for another battle involving our lovable friends the Borg.
Z: There's sarcasm if I ever heard it.
Gnownaym: And here to point out the obvious, is Z! He's provided us with an upgraded stealth system and a tap to the Collective that gives us "Borg-cams" allowing us to see what any drone on the ship is seeing if we want to. So, Z, how come you came to co-commentate instead of having Q give me retard-of-the-week?
Z: Well…I came over kind of hoping you might be able to help Kahless, I've tried everything I know to do…
Gnownaym: And that would be…
Z: Banging him over the head, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't do anything, and other times it sends him further into ditz-mode.
Gnownaym: Bummer…well, I don't know how to help him I'm afraid. I think the only cure for Aura of Ditziness attack is time. Sensors say that a Borg fleet has appeared in Vorlon space, we'll be there in a minute.
Kahless: Z, are you going to let me read those comic books yet?
Z: *growls a bit* Fine! Just get out of my hair.
Kahless: YAY! COMICS!
Gnownaym: Sad…
Z: We're trying to keep knowledge of this away from the Klingons…
Gnownaym: I can see why. *console starts beeping* The Borg are moving on a Vorlon outpost (like the one the White Stars were seen attacking in Season 4) and the Vorlons are sending their own fleet to greet them.
Z: The Borg have their new toy with them though. Looks like we get to see it in action!
Gnownaym: I take it you're referring to the assimilated Vorlon battle cruiser.
Z: NO, I'm talking about the Tooth fairy with the boom-wand.
Gnownaym: HOO-KAY…And you said I was sarcastic?
Z: You are, you're just not the pro that I am!
Gnownaym: You think you're great at everything, don't you?
Z: I don't think, I know. Ooh! Vorlons and Borg shooting at each other!
Gnownaym: Ok, we're coming out of slipstream, getting the visual.
The entire wall shimmers, apparently disappearing, revealing the ensuing battle. The Borg outnumber the Vorlons by a number and have multiple assimilated First One ships with them.
Z: Time to see if the Borg have upgraded their shielding since their last encounter with the Vorlons. That's the last thing we need, super Borg…
Gnownaym: An assortment of lighter craft open fire tearing holes into enemy ships, the Borg return fire, tearing into the Vorlon vessels.
Kahless can be heard laughing at Z's comics in the background.
Z: *is fuming* I'd fireball him if it weren't for the fact those are hard to come by collector's editions…
Gnownaym: Couldn't you just… Vorlon Battle cruiser fires its cannon! It tears through 3/4 of the Borg cube and blows it off course! …couldn't you just create new copies?
Z: And the cube barely misses colliding with another Borg ship! Yes, I could duplicate them, but I'd need to know all the dialogue and pictures and stuff, I don't have a photographic memory though.
Gnownaym: Ah, that explains it. *eye twitches* SHUT UP BACK THERE!!
A loud "WHAM" is heard as Gnownaym smacks Kahless upside the head with a hammer. This stops Kahless' laughing…unfortunately, he starts wailing.
Gnownaym: GET HIM TO BE QUIET PLEASE!!!!!!!
Z: GLADLY!!! *flashes Kahless into a soundproof bubble* I hope he gets better soon. ACK! I'M MISSING THE ACTION!!
Gnownaym: So you are, the Borg's Vorlon battle cruiser has flown to the thick of things, a shot from that massive cannon downs a smaller ship and blows the prong off a Vorlon Battle cruiser!
Z: A Shadow Spider takes advantage of the loss of power-shielding in the forward prongs and fires a slicer beam right down the barrel of the cannon!
Gnownaym: A typical explosive chain-reaction ensues and the Borg continue to press on! What's this? Some paneling on a cube is starting to pull back, opening a hole in the side and some kind of device takes up the spot…any idea what that is Z?
Z: I predict it's a cannon that mirrors a First One weapon. Wait a minute…did I remember to give Kahless a source of oxygen? *turns around* Uh-oh! I'll be right back!
Gnownaym: I didn't know Klingons turned that color while suffocating…. Um, oh yeah, the fight! Z WAS RIGHT! That Borg cube just fired a Vorlon-style weapon out of that device! It wastes a pair of fighters and turns to a larger ship! A battle cruiser intercepts with a cannon blast though and tears a large hole into the Borg vessel! It and some smaller ships combine fire and finish off the cube.
Z: Terribly sorry Kahless…you gonna live?
Kahless: *mouthing* Yeah, no thanks to you. What were you waiting for? My face to turn purple?
Gnownaym: The Vorlons lost two out of four battle cruisers, a third of their medium cruisers and over half of their fighters, they're pulling back to the sensor outpost.
Z: Not quite fast enough though, some high-yield warheads mess up the Vorlon's hull design-job fairly thoroughly.
Gnownaym: Vorlon defense platforms come online! …didn't know they had those… A bunch of small independent guns (not unlike the Cardassian weapon platforms) come online and fire green beams of death into the Borg forces!
Z: The barrage of fire from them chisels some holes into the Borg vessels but don't slow them down! The Borg fire their disrupter cannons…
Gnownaym: But the Vorlons have adapted to the weapons, and only glow oddly as the weapons fire covers them.
Z: The Borg fire a mixture of torpedoes and massive pulse weaponry and blow the defense guns apart! The Vorlon outpost is in weapons range now
Gnownaym: And the Vorlons open fire with its massive cannons! A Borg cube is caught in the crossfire and explodes messily. Some spheres launch a massive barrage of various torpedoes into the outpost causing some really big explosions but the damage doesn't seem to be as impressive.
Z: Those weapons continue to fire, destroying most of the spheres that launched the strafing run and a Spider. Several other Borg vessels are heavily damaged.
Gnownaym: A cube hits high speed straight for the densest area of weaponry and is all but torn apart before it impacts!
Z: Enough of the ship smashes into the weapons grid to do damage, not all are destroyed but the weapons fire just got a lot thinner!
Gnownaym: The Borg "Squid" (Vorlon battle cruiser naturally) fires torpedoes from each prong and its main energy cannon, tearing considerable holes into the outpost, the Borg vessels are rotating and flying about firing various weapons into the outpost!
Z: The Vorlon outpost is quickly deteriorating, but it's still putting up a good fight, tearing apart another Spider and sending an assimilated "Walker" ship adrift.
Gnownaym: Do those "other" First One ships have real names? And do you know them?
Z: Yes, they have names and yes I know them. Now the big question is 'can you pronounce them?' and I guarantee that the answer is "no."
Gnownaym: Drat. The Borg have the outpost surrounded, with all ships orbiting at high speeds, firing everything they've got into it. Most of the Vorlon ships have been destroyed, but a few continue to weave about and fight.
Z: The Vorlons are launching something out of the remains of the station…
Gnownaym: It appears to be a multi-thousand-megaton explosive! We're backing up as fast as we can just to be safe. The Borg are starting to back off but…
BOOM!!
Z: The Borg ships were a considerable distance away when it exploded and the Vorlon outpost survived…sort of .
Gnownaym: Multiple Borg vessels were destroyed by the blast, but there are still some left, including the 'Squid.'
Z: The remaining Vorlons were severely knocked about and the station's moving from the shockwave. The Borg have somewhat recovered though and fire their full arsenal at the remaining Vorlons!
Gnownaym: Well, that ends that, the Borg barrage quickly tears apart the outpost and remaining Vorlon ships. They lost a bit over half their fleet doing it, but they wasted a Vorlon station successfully.
Z: Hey, did you see that? I thought I saw a streak of light come from one of the ships before it exploded…
Gnownaym: Which ship would…HEY! There's a Vorlon in space heading for a Borg cube! The Borg fire at it, but miss mostly, one energy beam seemed to hit it but only made it waver a bit…it's at the hull…in the ship!
Z: Let's go to Borg-Cam!
Screen flickers, then goes inside the cube. It's fairly messed up with beams and such all over the place. A few repair drones and freaky wires are working at fixing the place up. Some sort of alert blares and the drone steps down from its alcove and joins a group of combat drones.
Gnownaym: Looks like they're on the move to intercept the Vorlon. I'm not sure what they plan to do…HEY!! That's a…that's a…
Z: A Shadow decked out in Borg gear… that's a freaky sight… AG!! *covers eyes* I guess that blinding light is the Vorlon.
Gnownaym: Nah, I think it's your Tooth Fairy with her boom-wand.
Z: ha-ha. I'm laughing. The Borg are rerouting power to zapping the Vorlon (Like they did on B5) and firing some sort of arm-mounted blasters into it…doesn't seem to be doing any good…
Gnownaym and Z: EWWW!!
Z: That Vorlon is being unnecessarily messy about this…
Gnownaym: I'll say, we just lost our Borg cam.
Z: I could pick up on another drone if you want.
Gnownaym: ICK NO!! Uh…I mean, that's not necessary.
Z: I can see explosions…looks like that Vorlon is really tearing them up, some hull detaches and flies out into space…
Gnownaym: The Borg have started beaming drones off of that cube. They don't do that often, I guess they don't want any threat of the Vorlon leaving some alive and using them to hack the collective.
Z: And the Borg fleet exits stage left! They've left the cube behind, and an angry looking energy blob flies out.
Gnownaym: And that wraps up this battle, good fight, good night.
Z: Wrong show.
Gnownaym: Every other fight site is using that joke, I figured we might as well do it too.
Z: *shakes head* Greeeeaaat, I'm working with a plagiarist.