Tech 3:

The Shadow Death Spider

Tarkin: Hello again, welcome to another episode of…

W: The Empire's conquest of the universe!

Tarkin: Yeah, guess what's going on? Come on, guess!

W: Shut up and tell them already!

Tarkin: The Drahk have taken us to a planet and on that planet, are two dormant Shadow Battleships!!! They and some Imperial officials have gone down to awaken and reactivate the Shadow Ships. With Shadow technology under our direct control, there's nothing that can stop us!!! The Interstellar Alliance will crumble in weeks, the Federation and their allies will be absolutely defenseless and the Rebellion will be crushed in no time at all!!!! Universal domination….I feel almost giddy!!

W: Help me…I can't work like this anymore!!!

Tarkin: Hey, W! What are you saying at the camera?

W: Uh, nothing…by the way, any word on those attacks?

Tarkin: No. These hit and runs are a complete mystery. If cloaked ships caused it we'd detect them after decloaking, but no such luck. It's like ghosts or something are ravaging us!!

W: What about the reports that claim they've seen Warbirds or Sharlins in the area?

Tarkin: Totally unconfirmed. We have sensors running at full power all the time now so that with any luck we'll catch them next time.

W: I hope it's resolved soon, all our troops are nervous wrecks! Even the Jem'Hedar and Drahk are getting jittery! We can't have anyone doing anything to upset the resurrection of the Shadow vessels. If something goes wrong…

Tarkin: It could make the casualties on the original Death Star look like a minor accident if they reach any major Imperial worlds…

BOOM!! BLAM!! BOOOM!!!BAM!! POW!!

W: Another attack! Quick get a lock! …WHA?!?!

Tarkin: They're gone, but we got some silhouettes…What did you see?

W: I could have sworn I saw a Warbird and a Sharlin!

Tarkin: That's what we got silhouettes of! Oh my goodness! I know what's going on!!

W: What?

Tarkin: A Warbird with Minbari stealth and a Sharlin with a Romulan cloak! In one mode completely invisible, and in the other, virtually invisible but able to fire! We can't lock onto Sharlins anyway, you can only hit them by visually aiming, and if one can turn invisible…

W: You have a ship that can tear into you all it wants and just slip away from your sensors…SCARY!!!

Tarkin: Oh, did you notice…we lost the Nemesis. Too bad, that was the best ship in this fleet.

W: I just got a message, they're ready to send in a pilot to merge with the first Shadow ship. AG! There's the Warbird!!

Tarkin: We're firing at it, but with the Minbari Stealth device we're not hitting it! It's firing at the planet's surface!

W: It hit the Shadow ship and blew up part of the complex! According to our cameras, a worker was tossed into the Shadow ship by the explosion!!

SSSCCCRRREEEEEEEECH!!!!!!!

Tarkin: Oh crap, it's awake!!!

W: It fired a beam straight through the Warbird's wing and the beam kept on going and tore the bridge off a Star Destroyer!!!

Tarkin: It fires one more shot, cutting the Warbird in half! It fires again and cuts a SD in half length-wise!!

W: Let's get out of here!!!

The Imperial fleet makes a dash out of the system, but the Shadow vessel destroys two more Star Destroyers and damages 4 more with a glancing blast. The Star Destroyers also pour firepower at the Shadow ship, mostly missing and only slightly damaging it.

Tarkin: As soon as that thing is gone we'll be back to pick up the other battleship. But I have to say this has been a nasty flop!!