Battle 6b: The Adventure of Kahless and Z.
Our original commentators veiw their position, and see that all is not good.

Kahless: Well folks, we're a little lost....

Z: A LITTLE!? A LITTLE!?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!?! WE PASSED AN ASSIMILATED EARTH STATION!! WE PASSED THE ENERGIZER BUNNY AND WE MET SAM BEKET!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN A LITTLE LOST!?!?!?!

Kahless:Be quiet, or I will kill you.

Z: hmph!

Kahless: DO YOU THINK I'M KIDDING?!?

Z:......

Kahless That's better. Wait, we're picking up something on short-range sensors.

Z:.... *mouths 'can I talk?' to Kahless*

Kahless:....Not just yet Z. It appears to be a wing of about 70 Centari warships. ...What's this Z? are you trying to do charades? What? ...oh, follow the Centari? You think? Ok, sounds good.

The Vor'cha follows the Centari fleet for a while, then...

Kahless: ...something's headed for us at warp speed!

Z: Don'tbetheBorg, Don'tbetheBorg, Don'tbetheBorg.

ZOOM!! 3 Federation and 2 Klingon ships warp in.

Admiral Hauge: Kahless, there you are! Glad we found you, the Klingons were getting impatient with us.

Z: YAY!! NOT THE BORG!! NOT THE BORG!! YAY!!

Admiral Hauge: *Raises eyebrow at Z.* Kahless, your ship looks like it's been shot up by Imperial Star Destroyers.

Kahless: Well, you see, a stray lazer hit our...

Admiral Hauge: Kahless, no excuses! We know what happened! How could you let Burgyone do this? He could drag us into a war with the Empire and we're already fighting the Dominion!

Kahless: I had no idea he'd attack! DON'T BLAME THIS ON ME!

Admiral Hauge: Don't give me that!

Klingon: Be respectful whan adressing Kahless!

Z: (to 'camera') I feel left out.

Admiral Hauge: Well, 'lord' Kahless I think you brought Burgyone along because you knew he would attack, and you wanted an excuse to fight.

Kahless: I AM A KLINGON!! I NEED NO EXCUSE TO FIGHT!!

Admiral Hauge: *chuckle* We'll let the Starfleet and Klingon high council's settle this.

Z: With all due respect sir, we're the only experienced commentators out here, we should be allowed to continue documenting the war!

Kahless: He's right! Anyway, we have to find Burgyone....

Admiral Hauge: *GLARE*

Z: To beat him up!

Admiral Hauge: I'm afraid that you two won't be Burgyone's judge, jury, or executioners.

Kahless: NOW!

Nameless Engineer: YES SIR!!

Kahless's crew hacks into all the transporter systems and beams Kahless, Z, and their supporters on board a Defiant class Starship, and beams its crew onto the Vor'cha

Kahless: Cloak! Set course to follow the Centari!

Z: *hums "Born to be Wild" tune*

Kahless: Cruisin' down the highway..

Z: ...lookin' for adventure..

Kahless and Z: or whatever comes my way!

The Centari ships enter hyper space, only to exit again in less than half an hour--the poor crew of the Defiant class having to listen to Kahless and Z's singing the whole time.

Kahless:What the? coming out of hyperspace already? for what?

Z: Looks like it was to join the main fleet.

The 70 Centari warships join a vast fleet composed largely of Centari vessels, with some Drazi, Brakiri, Narn, and White Star back-up.

Z: *whistle* Now, THIS is what I call an assault fleet.

Kahless: Then the entire galaxy would fear whatever it is you call an armada.

Z: True.

Kahless: Well, we're entering hyperspace again. How many ships are there in this fleet? Can we get a count?

Z: Oh, just call it an even thousand.

Kahless: I think you just proved your math skills to everyone.

Z: Math skills?

Kahless: Nevermind, I'd say there's a good chance that this fleet is attacking one of the Empire's more heavily fortified areas.

Z: REALY?!? You THINK?! I thought maybe they were delivering the newspaper!

Kahless: Sarcasm, not appreciated.

Z: Jump point opening.

Kahless: We're coming out into an Imperial fleet! The Jumpgate energy tears the Imperial ships apart! The fleet comes out firing! The Imperials are scattering, they weren't expecting an attack!

Z: Well, how many attacks has B5 staged?

Kahless: The Centari are strafing the area and the Imperial's haven't gotten organized yet. They've let loose the Ties, but they aren't coming in a very good formation.

Z: Jeez! I've never seen the Empire like this! ....to think, I thought they'd win.... They look about as deadly as the Ferangi at the moment.

Kahless: I think I've located the Centari's target, it's a large station with a lot of ship building supplies. The Imperial forces have finally regrouped and are firing at the Centari.

Z: Ooh, this is ugly...The Centari have scattered the Imperials again! ..sheesh, I'm really dissappointed in the Empire's performance, sloppy sloppy..

Kahless: There's a lone Super Star Destroyer trying to blaze its way through the Centari fleet. Uh-oh, the sensors show that that thing has a super lazer mounted on it!

Z: The ultimate BFG.

Kahless: It's charging the BFG...er, super lazer up, the Centari start to scatter, but..

KA-BOOOOM!!!

Z: WOW! It destroyed 5 Centari ships a White Star a Narn and Drazi ship! And it crippled another 3 Centari ships, 2 White Stars and a Brakiri ship!

Kahless: A squadron of Centari fighters are headed on a strafing run, oh but the Ties intercept them!!

Z: Let me guess, the Ties are routed once again? Eh? No? They were destroyed but they took most of the Centari fighters down with them!

Kahless: The Centari fighters sweep in, one passes between two gun turrets, which turn to shoot it but hit each other!

Z: BOOM!! You know, most militaries have standards for acceptance, I don't think the Empire does.

Kahless: Maybe, maybe. A fighter gets over the last of the guns and is headed for the bridge! The turrets turn around and fire!! .......and...they, they, THEY BLEW OFF THEIR OWN BRIDGE!!!

Z:......GOOD GOD!! HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?!?!?

Kahless: The SSD is floating dead in space, but Centari, Narn, Drazi, and White Star ships blast it to peices just to make sure.

Z: I mean, that is really bloody F#*%!@^ stupid!!!

Kahless: Both fleets are now scattered and disorganized, the fighting is REALLY getting hectic!

Z: ...I mean I know blind people that would make better gunners.

Kahless: Z, let it go.

Z: Oh, fine. Some Centari ships are heading for the super-station.

Kahless: And the Centari rain holy h*ll down upon the Station!

Z:....and the shields hold...

Kahless: What? They couldn't have....they did.....but the Centari are coming around again!

Z: ......D*mn, when the Empire buys sheilds, it gets what it pays for...

Kahless: OH MY GOD!!!

Z: WHAT?? WHAT!?!

Kahless: The Centari got another ship with that same bridge trick...

Z: The Empire will never live this one down....

Kahless: No, probably not. What's this?

Z: A huge fleet of Star Destroyers is coming in!

Kahless: And the Star Destroyers come in, dispensing merry h*ll on a democratic basis!

Z: You like that phrase entirely to much....

Kahless: ........true.

Z: The Centari are scattered and the Empire lets loose thousands upon thousands of Tie Fighters.

Kahless: And are being quite stalled by a mere dozens upon dozens of Centari fighters.

Z: Not my fault that the Empire hires any idiot off the street to fly their ships.

Kahless: The Centari have come up in a organized fall-back formation. They're launching mines and missiles to try and slow down the Imperials.

Z: The Star Destroyers shoot down most of the explosives,

Kahless: but are still slowed down. They still continue to hound the Centari.

Z: And a Centari heavy cruiser goes down! It crashed into a light Centari cruiser!

Kahless: This has opened a hole in the Centari defenses; and Ties are just pouring in!

Z: The Centari are doomed, they have no defense against this many ships!

Kahless: Wait, I think some jumpgates are forming...

Z: You are ABSOLUTELY WRONG!!! That's a H*LL OF A LOT OF JUMPGATES!!!

Kahless: ALL RIGHT!!! Those are Destroyer class White Stars!!

Z: ?

Kahless: The D.C. White Stars take down several Star Destroyers from the rear! They fire down the Star Destroyer's thrusters and take them down!! The Empire is once again scattered allowing the Centari to retake the offensive!

Z: whaaa?

Kahless: Have you been watching B5 recently?

Z: ........eh?...oh, NO!! You told me the show was getting depressing!

Kahless: Well, on the show they're planning to build a Destroyer Class White Star; and that's gonna be the ship to star in the spin-off series Crusade.

Z: *goofy look*......just, do the battle commentary would you?

Kahless: The Destroyer Class White Stars and some Centari vessels are focusing their fire on the Imperial Super Station!!

Z: And it goes KA-BLAM!!! It even takes some Alliance ships with it!

Kahless: The remaining Imperials zip off in various directions, they've given up on this fight.

Z: Probably muttering something like "We'll get you and your little president too!"

Kahless:......I'm so glad I don't think like you....

Z: Looks like the Alliance is looting the joint, taking the remains of the Imperial fleet. NOT FAIR!!

Kahless: Why you wanted to do it?

Z: exactly...

Kahless: Well everyone, we'll see you for the next battle, don't forget to check in!

Battle #7