Kahless: Ok, we're out of B5 space, we're on route to Starfleet command to punish Burgyone.....why are we commentating on this one?
Z: Maybe the Empire will want revenge on the Romulans and attack us!
Kahless:.....You're paranoid. Anyway, we're trudging along....oh, and we have a new commentator! Ok, introduce yourself.
Thunderbolt: Hello, I'm Thunderbolt.......I might be commenting a little during this voyage....so don't push me, my mom pushed me once.
Z: Man of few words.
Kahless: Didn't Q say that? I thought you hated Q.
Thunderbolt: Look, I said "don't push me" so.............DON'T PUSH ME!!!!! GOT IT?!? Don't make me blast you!!!
Kahless: Oh, let's explain something about Thunderbolt, shall we Z?
Z: In a dimensional/time/transporter accident, the mind of a 20th century Canadian got transferred into a Thunderbolt Starfury.
Kahless: Thanks Z, now.......we're almost to Earth.
Alarm system: BEEEEEEEP!!!!! BEEEEEEP!!!!!
Thunderbolt: OH, WHAT'S IT WANT NOW?!?!
Admiral Hauge: There are two fleets headed for us!! One's at warp......and the other's at....
Z: Transwarp?!?!?!
Kahless: No, it's Star Wars style hyperspace!
The Fleets zoom in, and the Federation/Klingon/Romulan fleet is surronded, on one side, the Empire, on the other the Dominion. They both lock onto the "good guy's" fleets.
Admiral Hauge:........d*mn, d*mn, d*mn...........
Z: Hmm, that's a lot of ships.
Thunderbolt: YES!!!
The heavily-modified, always-ready-to-fight Starfury heads for the Dominion fighters charging weapons.
Kahless: Ah, I see our 'friend' is a brave one, let's reinforce him shall we?
Z: Of course. *taps com badge* Ready my personal fighter, prep Arwings for launch! *snaps fingers and dissappears in a flash of light*
Kahless:.......I didn't know he could do that. *taps com badge* Beam me aboard the flagship, I'm not fighting from a Federation ship if I can help it.
The Dominion begins to close in. The Empire launches waves upon waves of TIEs. The Federation launches it's limited supply of Replicated Arwings (super cool fightercraft from StarFox 64) and Z's other personal fighter. Everyone charges weapons.
Admiral Hauge: Well, I know Starfleet's supposed to be diplomatic......but I'm D*MN TIRED OF IT! PREPARE TO FIRE!!!
Kahless: Z, Thunderbolt, and half the Federation and Klingon ships are headed for the Dominion. I, the Arwings, remaining Klingon, Federation and Romulan ships are headed for the Empire. This will be a most gorious battle!
Burgyone: Don't you mean glorious?
Kahless: No, think about it...GORE-iously.
Burgyone: Oh, makes sense.......And why am I cooped up in a brig?!!? I was the first person to offer to be a commentator!!!! Don't I deserve a little respect?!?!?!
Kahless: Actually, in a situation like this, we need someone like you commanding the Romulan fleet, you'll be let out in a minute.
Z: Well.....we're rather outnumbered, but that's ok! We're the good guys!!
Thunderbolt: TAKE THIS SCUM!!!
Thunderbolt fires several phaser blasts disabling a Jem'Hedar Fighter. The Empire fires on the Romulans, the Romulans open fire on the Empire, followed by the Klingons, then the Federation opens fire.
Kahless: Klingon Assault Wings 1 through 5 target the capital Dominion ships. Assault Wings 6 and 7, get those fighters!
Z: I'm firing! Disabled a Jem'Hedar fighter! BLAM!! BLAM!!! BLAM!!! SH*T!!! 3 of them right behind me!
Burgyone: Z looks to be in trouble, but the Romulans can't help him now, the Empire is trying to out-flank us and we're already battle damaged!
Admiral Hauge: I know I'm not really a commentator......but a Federation ship is heading for Z's position.
Thunderbolt: SO AM I!!! *swerving through debrie* LOOK OUT!!! COMING THROUGH!!
Kahless: 4 Vor'chas, 6 K'tingas, a Neg'Var and 5 Warbirds are taking on the SSD. It's shields are holding, but that won't be true for long! Oh, the Sovreign class starship and Thunderbolt are approach. Sovreign fires and takes down a Jem'Hedar fighter with one shot! Z's turning about......Thunderbolt's in range....they fire! and both down a Jem'Hedar fighter!
Z: Hey, Thundy, how's about a bet?
Thunderbolt: Sure! Next one to down a Jem'Hedar fighter wins!
Burgyone: Tsk, tsk, immature.......*looks at panel handed to him* SHIELDS ARE DOWN!?!?!? WAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Kahless: 3 Birds of Prey making a strafing run on a SD! The SD shoots down one BOP, which crashes into the bridge area. The SD goes down, crashing through a cloud of fighters.
Z and Thunderbolt shoot down the same Jem'Hedar fighter.
Z: YAY!!! I GOT IT!!! PAY UP!!
Thunderbolt: No way! I shot it down!!!
Z: Oh yeah?!?!? REALLY?
Thunderbolt: I said don't push me! I shot it down and that's the END OF THIS CONVERSATION!!!!!
The Battle is truly hectic, Dominion and Empire hit each other a few times from bad-aiming, but talk to each other and decide to unite forces. The Arwings plow through even the TIE advanced and TIE defenders. The ST capital ships look to be in trouble. The Dominion and Empire start to push the fleet inwards, trapping them.
Kahless: That's it!!! GET THE WARRIORS AND PREPARE TO BOARD!!!
The scene shifts to onboard a Klingon ship, where an unusual assembly line is at work. There is a long stream of Klingon Warriors, at the first stop the Warrior is armed with his bladed weapons. At the second he gets his energy weapons. Then they're injected with Rabies and a hyper-caffine. The Klingon Warriors are then moved onto a transporter pad and once the pad is full, they're beamed aboard the enemy vessel.
Z: Cruel and unusual punishment, I LIKE IT!!!
Burgyone:......weird.....
Thunderbolt: I'd say it's evil! Way to go dude!
Kahless: Hey, it's D*MN efficient!!!
Burgyone: The fighting is in really close quarters now! Everyone seems to be fighting everyone else! The Arwings are taking on the Jem'Hedar fighters with some success....
Kahless: Ah! A most worhty enemy! this battle is most glorious! We MUST make a song of it! The Arwings are a bit outclassed by the Jem'Hedar's far larger fighters but they still fight valiantly!
Thunderbolt: Ok, Z, new bet?
Z: Sure, whoever shoots down the most Jem'Hedar in all wins!
Thunderbolt: Fine with me! Let's go sissy!
Thunderbolt flies over Z's fighter and starts firing. Z isn't far behind in attacking more Jem'Hedar.
Kahless: *blows up Imperial Light Cruiser* Whooo!! Haven't had this much fun since I fought the entire house of Da'ron when I was alive the first time!
Z: *does that finger-twirl thing when you're calling someone crazy*
Thunderbolt: *BLAM!!* Haha! Take that scum suckers!!!
A TIE Defender fires a volley and sends Thunderbolt spiraling off. Z flies in, wastes the defender and joins the Arwings on a strafing run of a SD. Multiple Advanced fighters meet them. 1 Arwing is destroyed in the initial volley and another 2 are forced to break off. Z and the remaining 3 Arwings are joined by a Bird of Prey which shoots down 4 TIE Defenders. The TIEs fire again and cause Z to break off. The Arwings blast through while the SD shoots down the BOP. The Arwings blow up the Shield generators. Then a Warbird and a Sovreign fly overhead and take it down.
Kahless's ship fires the coup'de'graus on a SD and turns around to fire upon Dominion ships. The Neg'Var shoots down a fighter and destroyes the nacelle on a larger Dominion ship. Arwings fly in and waste a Jem'Hedar fighter sneaking up on Kahless's ship.
Kahless: *pushing buttons on weapons control* Yeah! You want a piece of me huh? You want a piece of me! Boom!! Hahaha!
Z: NOOO!!! Thunderbolt's ahead!! *starts wildly firing all weapons, striking a SD and knocking out its navigation. Unfortuanatly he also hits a Galaxy class starship.*........uh..........HE DID IT!!
Burgyone: Well......this isn't fun. We're falling back, but we really don't have anywhere to fall back too.
Kahless: There are some jump-gates opening......they're are White Stars, Centari Warships, and.......X-wings????
Z: What?!?! Can't be!! But it is...Y-wings, B-wings and A-wings too!
Kahless: The White Stars and Rebels are firing on the Empire. They're backing up and turning around to fight the White Stars and the Rebels. ALRIGHT! Now we can focus on the Dominion!
The White Stars and Rebels fight the Empire. The Star Trek ships turn around and fire on the Dominion. After a while the Dominion and the Empire are scattered enough for everyone to get out.
Burgyone: Well, I kind of wondered when the Rebels would ever show up. Ok, BLOW A HOLE OUT THROUGH THIS FLEET!!
The Star Trek ships start a dash to get out of the Imperial/Dominion fleet while the White Stars and Rebels pound away on the outside of the fleet.
Kahless: Ah, honorable allies come to help us fight this ruthless enemy! I will have a nice opera made out of this battle.
Z and Thunderbolt:.......oi, klingons......
Admiral Hauge: Uh, look, I know you all would just love to stay here and get killed fighting, but I would rather leave!
Imperial and Dominion reinforcements zip in.
Kahless: ...D*mn, we have to retreat?!? Ooooh, that so p*sses me off....
Z: I'm not happy with it either!!!
Burgyone: Oh, SHUT UP and tactically withdraw!!!!
The Star Trek ships break through the enemy fleet with the Rebels carving a path through the Imperial fighters. Thunderbolt and Z are seen shooting down a Jem'Hedar fighter as they leave. The White Stars turn and fire a few last shots and the whole fleet jumps into hyper-space.
Kahless: They better not be gloating, they BARELY won, if they're gloating...I'll...I'll....KILL EVERY ONE OF THEM MYSELF!!!!!
Thunderbolt: And I thought I had an attitude problem. Oh, by the way Z, I win, I got 10 Jem'Hedar ships.
Z:......wha? I got 10 ships!!!! I won!!
Thunderbolt: DID NOT!!!!!
Z: Did too win! I shot my 10th fighter down before you did!
Thunderbolt: OH YEAH!?!?
Z: YEAH!!!
Thunderbolt: WANNA BET?!?!?